Overcoming Perfectionism & Comparison with Missie Branch
In this week’s episode of The About Her Podcast, I chatted with Missie Branch about Perfectionism & Comparison. Missie currently serves as the Asst. Dean of Students to Women and the Director of Graduate Life at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, located in Wake Forest, NC. Missie is married to Duce Branch, also known as The Ambassador, a recording artist, PhD student, and Assistant Professor at SEBTS.
Prior to serving at Southeastern Seminary, Missie and her husband co-planted a church in Philedelphia, PA. During this time, Missie served as a pastor’s wife, a children’s ministry director, and a women’s ministry leader. Missie also speaks frequently at various conferences and ministry events, and is a co-host of the Women & Work Podcast.
Show Notes
Perfectionism
How would you personally define, “Perfectionism?”
Have you personally wrestled with perfectionism?
Is it a good thing or a bad thing that many women, including myself, often want to do things, “perfectly?”
Why is this temptation toward perfectionism dangerous to our relationships and fellowship with other women?
Does the Bible speak to this issue? If so, where?
How should we interpret a passage like Matthew 5:48 that says, “You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” Does Christ expect us to be perfect?
Even if we cannot and will not live perfectly as fallen people, does this passage have any practical implications for our everyday lives and obedience?
What practical advice would you offer to the woman listening who struggles with perfectionism?
In your opinion, what does “faithfulness” look like in the day to day life of women listening to this podcast episode?
Comparison
How do you personally see comparison negatively affecting the church and female believers today?
I don’t think I am exaggerating when I say that all women struggle with comparison. I think it is a natural tendency of our prideful hearts to compare. Why is it important that we do not grow complacent on this issue, or that we do not just consider comparison normal because it is common?
Does the Bible speak to this issue? If so, where?
Can comparison ever be a good thing? Or can it ever be applied or practiced rightly?
What are helpful indicators in your own life that help you recognize that you need to “adjust your mindset” regarding comparison?
How can women practically, “stay in our own lanes?”
What are practical ways that women can learn to exercise the spiritual muscles of rightly weeping and rejoicing with others even when doing so may feel difficult?
Notable Quotations
“I have to remind myself of who I am not, and I would say perfectionism is trying to play God.”
“Focusing on perfectionism puts all of the attention in the relationship on you.”
“Relationships flourish when you know that I struggle with such and such, and yet you love me through that. And I know that you struggle with such and such and I love you through that.”
“In my opinion, when the Bible is talking about actually being perfect, it’s talking about the Savior.”
“I can’t keep striving for the impossible. I can keep striving, but it doesn’t make sense to keep striving for the impossible, which is perfectionism.”
“Holiness really gives you a well rounded vision of Christ’s spotlessness, blamelessness, and also his set apartness.”
“When we stop thinking about just the doing with the perfect, we realize that we are supposed to strive to live like Christ.”
“The sign of a renewed mind is Christian maturity, and the sign of a mature Christian is that you look more like Jesus. Looking more like Jesus means striving toward holiness. ”
“What you are looking for is that life that is set apart like Christ. That life that is outwardly focused toward others and really trying to represent to this world the God of the heavens that Jesus came down and represented for us.”
“If you are in the wrong race, you can’t win the right one.”
“Faithfulness is being reminded that I am dependent on the vine and that the vinedresser has a good plan for me.”
“Faithfulness doesn’t look like a whole lot of doing, it looks like being dependent.”
“Comparison just steals our joy and says to God that we believe he didn’t know what He was doing or that we have a better plan for our lives.”
“Comparison can be sinful because it is allowing us to have idols in our hearts.”
“It wasn’t about them being educated, it was about Jesus rubbing off on them and that’s all that they needed in order to stand boldly and speak truth. For me, I am not really interested in people knowing a whole bunch about my accomplishments, I really genuinely want people to say, ‘Missie has spent time with Jesus.’”
“The most efficient race you are going to run is the one that is in your own lane.”
“My red flags go up when I really struggle to honestly love the lane that God has put me in.”
“Be so entrenched in getting to know who God has made you to be and working hard in your lane that you don’t have time to look up and compare your lane to her lane.”
“We all need to be doing the hard work of really understanding who we are and the work God has cut out for us to do individually.”
“Coach your soul to die to being sad for yourself so that you can be genuinely happy for others.”
“We can read a million things but ultimately we must know God’s Word and be connected with Him.”
“If we continue to be connected back to the Bible not as a list of does or don’ts or as a rulebook, but as our lifeline – he is the true vine and we are the branches – then we will begin to really see the weights of all these things that have kept us trapped begin to fall off.”
“Comparison and perfectionism become silly when I see myself in light of Jesus Christ and what He did for me.”
Recommended Resources
The Psalms
A Great Cloud of Witnesses by Trillia J. Newbell
The Jesus Habits by Jay Dennis
A Tale of Three Kings by Gene Edwards
The Common Rule by Justin Whitmel Earley
Worthy by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Eric Schumacher
Scripture References
The Book of James
James 3
Matthew 5:48
John 15
Acts 4
Psalm 91
